Things that a mature woman does not do for men

In the classical literature, love is oftenappears sacrificial. Starting from "Romeo and Juliet", ending with "The Master and Margarita" lovers go to all kinds of agonies and tricks for the sake of each other, they stay together for a short time, and then leave or die at all. Love is not given easily, for the sake of it one must suffer, wait, languish and endure.

Probably, in my youth I read many books aboutheavy, sacrificial love, so for a long time my love was just such, full of dramas, tears and farewells. It seemed, if without them, then this is not love at all, and so, frivolous hobbies. Fortunately, I have seen, maybe I just grew up or I'm tired of suffering. Now love for me is a quiet joy. And no casualties.

I'm almost 42 and sometimes I like beingcynical. To say that I do not believe in love, romance, eternal happiness. With men, I'm straight as a bamboo - I do not hesitate to inform you about what I like, do not like and what my desires are. To hell with, too, without hesitation. Periodically, I check myself, is my heart petrified, and the soul shrank? After all, before I could wait for one SMS every day, I went somewhere to the end of the world, if only he called, without hesitation, bought expensive gifts, just to make him pleasant, cooked breakfasts and lunches of dishes, which, of course, preferred beloved man, harassed her friends with endless "he said, what would it be?".

Naturally, this "he" hid differentmen, someone I loved, someone lived with someone, someone was just in love, someone is carried away without reciprocity. But the feelings that caused the male figure were similar - every time I was much ready for love. If now this willingness has passed, does it mean that the ability to love too?

In adolescence, we painfully look for ourselves, at the age of 18-25 wewe are only a crude "Something". How can you understand what you like, where are your boundaries and who are you in general, without trying different experiences? Therefore, in youth, we readily rush into any experiments - with appearance, profession, sec, love.

After 25 some kind of skeleton we already get -received education, professional experience, full of cones with ses and love. We are no longer so uncontrollable in experiments, more specific for our own purposes. Many have already married and have children. Or they start building a serious relationship with the prospect of all this. We already understand something about life, but we still understand very little about ourselves. We confuse our desires with the wishes of society. Love is a substitute for sacrifice. It seems to us that a man needs to please, otherwise he will be offended and leave.

Maturity is for me the age of a true meetingwith myself. After the "blind" youth, youth "for the sake of someone", we begin to live for ourselves and for ourselves. This does not mean that we do not need anyone. We have become successful, selfish, self-sufficient loners. No. We are just like in 20, we want love, we want warmth, we want relationships. We just understand that in a healthy relationship all this is mutual. A man either wants all of the same, or does not stay in our life. As Omar Khayyam said, "I do not need someone who does not need me."

Therefore I am more:

1. Do not wait for men's calls or messages. I either write myself, or delete the contacts of those who do not find time for a short answer "I'm sorry, today I'm busy, I'll type in how I will be released."

2. I do not go on dates, if their place and time are uncomfortable for me. To meet was in joy, it should beis convenient to both. If a man is not interested in the time, desire, or convenience of a woman, then he is not generally interested in a woman. And such a man I do not need.

3. I do not forgive the absence of gifts for my birthday and other important holidays to me. I like men who like to spendmoney for the woman they like, that is, for me. Financially stingy people are usually stingy and in everything else. Inattention to dates important for a person is inattention to the person as a whole. Those in whom we are in love, I want to pamper and rejoice. Everything that is important to him becomes important for us. If it does not matter, either sorry or forgotten - you can forget my number too;

4. Do not seek excuses for male misconduct and failure. This does not mean that from a man I need onlymoney. But "with a nice paradise and in a hut" - definitely not a story from the life of a mature woman. We left our huts at the age of 20 and at 30, at 40 we already have our own comfortable life built and there are no excuses;

5. I do not keep silent about what I do not like. Of course, I can not stand the man's brain endlesslycavils. But there are things that another person does not know about simply because he is different. If I do not like high speed, it scares me, then I do not keep silent or do not admire, if a man accelerates to 120 km / h. I also do not inform irritably "where did you go, how are you going," I calmly say "do not drive, please, I'm nervous and I'm scared".

6. I'm not afraid to ask any questions. I am also ready for the answers myself. In youth, we are afraid to clarify the incomprehensible, because we do not want to frighten off, strain or injure a man. But it is this lack of clarity which creates wounds in ourselves. I do not want wounds anymore, that's why I'm sorting it out.

7. I do not iron men's shirts. I do not like to iron. To me and my shirts to stroke a burden. I no longer do anything for the man, which is a burden to me. If he loves me, he will pat his shirt himself.

8. I do not accept secs for love. Sax can be associated with love, and maybenot connected. Love for me is to pat my shirt, keep quiet with me in the morning, because in the morning I do not like to talk, remember the name of my cat and how many spoons of sugar I put in coffee, bring in May a bouquet of freshly cut peonies, wet from the rain, current tap. If all this is not, and there are only sacks - then we just fuck.

9. Do not be jealous of a man to friends or work. Or to children from past relationships. If a man loves me, he finds time for me. Includes me in his busy schedule of meetings, trips, football with friends or fishing with his son. Because I, too, live a dense, busy life. If we both find time for each other - then everything is OK, we have a relationship. If I only find time for relationships, and the man is always busy, then for relationships I need to look for someone else.

10. I do not try to look better for a man. On the contrary, when I get acquainted, I can be even worse,coarser, cynical, straightforward. I'm not ashamed to talk about my problems or difficulties. The one who needs to always look deeper and farther. The one who does not - will pass by.

I'm almost 42 years old. And I'm bamboo. Straight, strong, flexible, unpretentious. It is difficult for me to break, twist or uproot. I'm hardened. But I still want to love. I'm just not ready to sacrifice for this. Love is creation, not sacrifice and destruction. Let's create.