How to survive the death of a loved one?

The question that we will discuss today is veryis difficult for all who experience the death of a loved one, mourns for him, and also for those who wish to help the mourners. We will talk about how to survive the death of a loved one.

All of us are not eternal, sooner or later everyonethere are moments of parting with your loved ones: with a nice grandfather, with a single and unique mother, with a beloved guy. Each has its own story and its grief, but it unites all the feeling of loss, sorrow, despair. How to be, how to live on? It is necessary to realize the fact that the loved one is no longer around and that he will not return. Everyone is released a certain amount of time on our planet. If a person has died, then the hour of farewell to him has come, it must be perceived as inevitability. The experience of grief is inevitable, but eventually you will learn without despair to keep a bright memory of a person all your life, remember only good events and feelings associated with it. In the process of experiencing grief a person learns to live anew, grows up spiritually. Time and bright thoughts about the deceased are the best healers in this situation.

Survive the loss of a loved one

The process of experiencing the death of a loved onehas several stages, passing through which, we learn to live with a good thought about a person, but do not suffer at the same time. How to survive the death of a loved one at each stage?

1st stage - Shock

Lasts for 9 days after the death of a loved one. A person who experiences a loss of a loved one can either fall into complete numbness (keep silent, walk with "empty" eyes, eat and drink little, look at one point, etc.) or vice versa, behave very actively: help in organizing funerals and a wake, to console all others. Both the first and second reactions are normal. The person in the second case has not yet realized the loss, but it will come later. In any case, everyone needs to cry, tears give a discharge of emotions and make it easier to survive the grief. So try to cry out in plenty or bring a person to tears, this is now necessary.

2nd stage - Denial

Lasts up to 40 days after the death of a loved one. The person consciously perceives the loss, but the subconscious and the body still deny it. Therefore, it may seem to a person that he hears the voice of the deceased, sees it (in a dream as well), etc. If you are dreaming a deceased person, this is normal. Tears in this period are also useful, but a person should not cry day and night. At this time you need the help of relatives: talk about the deceased, talk, if you want it.

Stage 3 - Acceptance of loss

Lasts up to six months from the date of death of a loved one. A person has already fully realized death, but pain and emotions are rolling in waves. A person can cry for a while, and then be calm and live as usual. At this stage, the sense of guilt towards the deceased is particularly pronounced, and even aggression on him ("why did you leave me?"), Aggression on others (looking for those guilty of the death of a loved one). These are normal reactions, and they need to be survived. These feelings are useful only for a short period.

Stage 4 - Pain Relief

Lasts up to one year from the date of death. The survivor learns to live in a new way. He makes new acquaintances, begins to communicate with other people, lead a normal and normal life. If the experience of death is right, then the deceased remember only the good of those times when he was still alive. Man learns to control experiences.

5th stage - Repetition

During the second year after death, a man againexperiences all stages of grief, but only in a softer form. On the first anniversary, a person can burst into tears again, but will be able to take control of his feelings.

So, gradually experiencing the death of a loved one,a person becomes more mature, wiser and learns to live in a new way. Therefore, the best answer to the question of how to survive the death of a loved one is to survive all the stages with courage and at the end to keep a bright memory of the near for the rest of your life, learn to remember only good things about it and feel slight sadness, not despair .

Spiritual perception

How to survive the death of a loved one, if you arebeliever? Believers in this situation are slightly easier. They live by the principle: "God gave, God took." And this means that a Christian must learn to perceive everything in his life as a temporary gift, he must learn to understand that he has nothing in this world, including close people. If a loved one died, it means that his turn came, and God called him to him. This should be perceived as inevitable, because once upon a time such a fate will befall you, just while your time has not come yet, and it's time for him to go to heaven.

Also believing people learn as soon as possibleget rid of a strong grief and despair, because their experiences weigh on the soul of the deceased loved one, not allowing her to calm down, tormenting herself and her loved one. When a person acquires mental equilibrium, he releases the soul of the deceased from himself, it becomes easier for him to live, and the soul of the deceased rejoices and lives quietly in the heavens, does not mourn or grieve.

How do believers help themselves? In the churches, they say to themselves or to the priest confessionary speeches in which they confess their grieving feelings, ask forgiveness for everything that they have offended the deceased, and pray to God that he will give them the strength to experience loss. Also put candles in memory of the deceased, pray that his soul in heaven would live well and joyfully.

How to survive the death of a loved one, solearn to live anew - it is very difficult and it seems impossible, especially if you are only at the beginning of the experience. But over time it will become easier, you will learn to perceive the death of a loved one differently and will be able to live anew, but in a different way.